Fear, My Dear Friend

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You have to fight your fear, you have to play with fear and you have to make it a friend – because the next time you find yourself identifying with a fear – you know it’s challenging you. A friend who is calling you to play, and to go past your boundaries you’ve created, but only to break. A friend who is asking you to win.
 

The greatest thing to fear is fear itself – Rudyard Kipling

Most of our lives, we run away from danger, pain, discomfort, evil – driven by fear. The fear to lose someone, something, to get hurt, to be alone, to be in pain – the fear of everything has driven us away from a part of our existence.

When we read about how humans have evolved, there had been a very special purpose of fear – to pay heed to our environment, potentially dangerous elements which could be a threat to their lives. Though this fear may serve a purpose even today, even though only in a handful of cases! Even if you’re an adrenaline junkie, you have negotiated well with fear, in fact, that’s why you’re seek adrenaline– to live with fear & not run away.  But for most part of our lives, this emotion has hijacked a part of our mind which could have been free. Free to explore locations, situations and people- things I summarize as life.

What I’m talking about here is the fear most of us identify with – fear of heights, of water, of spiders of getting hurt, of being alone. We let this fear restrict our existence – we don’t go for a swim, we don’t try to climb the highest mountains, we squeal and cry when we see a spider, we don’t meet new people anymore. We close ourselves from any new experiences. In a way, we are happy in our comfort zones, labelling ourselves with identities of beautifully coined terms of different types of fear. Comfortable, isn’t it?

When was the last time you overcame one of your fears? When as the last time you felt you’ve grown into a better version of yourself because you could actually break a restriction put on own  your mind ? Did you try looking down from a cliff? Did you try diving deep into the water (ok, please don’t try something that extreme if it’s your first time, take it slow and first learn to swim!) and did you try loving someone, without any fear of abandonment (and if you could look a little far, everyone eventually has to die and leave their partner alone, you’re just lucky if you left earlier than your partner). And seriously, did you try to notice how spiders even look? (Yeah, might look gross, but the fact is, it’s nature – learn about them rather than fearing them)

I think winning over our own fears is one of the best feelings – it opens up a dimension in our life. Opens us up to experiences that were banned by us. Let’s start by learning or studying the things we fear. Thanks to google and social media, we all have a lot of information to feast on when it comes to research. What’s the science, physiology, psychology of the things and experiences we fear? For most of us, we ‘ll realize the reality is far from what we had in our mind. (Word of caution: if you type negative keywords for search, your research will only take you deeper into your fear. If you really want to break free, search for the positives, search for leaders and networks)

Then comes practice and learning – go slow. It really depends in the type of person you are. You could really jump from A to Z or slowly go through B to C to Z, it’s how comfortable you are being uncomfortable. You might or might not like what you do – and that’s ok. Whether you liked swimming or not was never the question, would you still be fearful of water?

Let the fear guide you. If the next step comes to you as even more demanding and intimidating, prepare and win it!

Tell me, what’s the last step of the journey for a person who fears being alone? (Which a lot of us are) – is it being able to survive alone by shutting ourselves down, or is it peace even when we lost our love? What do you think makes us stronger? We won’t ever win a battle if we keep hiding from it – we have to fight.

You have to fight your fear, you have to play with fear and you have to make it a friend – because the next time you find yourself identifying with a fear – you know it’s challenging you. A friend who is calling you to play, and to go past your boundaries you’ve created, but only to break. A friend who is asking you to win.

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Hi everyone!
I'm Bhavini. Welcome to my blog!
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